Boundaries

I heard mi madre say, “one key to a happy marriage is a king sized mattress.” Hubby and I, in our newlywed, “no I love you more schmougumbear”, “no, no, I love you more schmougumbear” haze of a fantasy, opted for a queen mattress. The decision was one-third financial and two-third delusional and now – 2 years in, I see mothers’ wisdom.  This morning, I wake up (you guessed the hour) and my body is under some spontaneous combustion of an inferno attack and I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep and I ain’t got enough SPACE!

I got some water, turned on a fan, tried not to panic then ultimately began thinking of SPACE, which got me thinking about Boundaries. Actually, I was thinking about space, then tomatoes, then boundaries but I have no idea what the tomatoes was all about.

So contemplating boundaries got me thinking about a fantastical message I recently heard in which boundaries were totally redefined. The speaker said (and I paraphrase) boundaries not only tell you how far you should go but it also establishes how close harmful things can get to you. Think of a fence, it keeps you from running into the street and it keeps crazy dogs, or neighbors who act like crazy dogs, from walking all up in your spot.  Another benefit of boundaries is it establishes what your responsible for (ie. this house and this lawn behind my fence is what I’m responsible for). Some of us suffer from watering everyone else’s lawn and our grass is dry and brown.

Lastly, boundaries clarifies what God takes responsibility for. (ie. kid, if you go outside of my will, I can’t help you.) So, when God was warning us about having sex outside of marriage, he wasn’t trying to squash our fun, he was protecting us with boundaries.

1.       You don’t get yourself hurt and salty

2.       Pain, STD’s and Pregnancy drama don’t stress you out

3.       You keep your lawn clean from mess

4.       God honors and protects your commitment to his way and blesses your future covenant.

BOUNDARIES!! If I would’ve really grasped this earlier in life, I never would have let O’dude even hold my hand. I’d been like, “Boo Boo Halt!! Boundaries Baby- you ain’t watering no grass around here so put your hand back on your lap”..lol.

Sidebar- Tomatoes…. I remember how I got there. Needing space led to being hot, which led to thinking of work..outside.. like laboring in a garden, where I want to one day plant tomatoes, but I’ll need a fence…to set up a protective hedge or, you guessed it, Boundaries.  

Whew!!  First I’m purchasing a king sized mattress.

Oh NO!! Pandemonium....

I sat straight up today, eyes wide open and breath held tight- full of anxiety- thinking, "Oh No, I don’t have anything to blog…(scratch that) WRITE (because I am a writer and should be taken seriously).

What will I do when all my fans…my adoring fans... tune in for an article and I got nothing.. I mean NOTHING!! It’ll be pandemonium, an ungodly, unimaginable, unmanageable (wait..unmanageable.. is that a word) uproar and all because I dropped the ball. What will I do, who will I be, who am I now....

"Whoah sista, HALT!! This has taken a dramatic dark turn somewhere and we better climb out quick", I tell myself.

Why is it so hard to separate what you do from who you are? When someone asks you to describe yourself, we immediately ramble off: "I’m a student, teacher, mom, business owner, blah, blah…"
It all tumbles when you’re fired, or your kids grow up, or you run out of student loan money…lol.

So I’m up, (yeah it’s 4am) and I’m asking with writers block.. who am I…who am I…who am I… and softly I hear, "you’re mine."

No God that’s not correct. I’m asking WHO am I, not WHOSE am I.

He must find us comical because softly he repeats, "You’re mine."

"I’m yours??? I’m yours…OH, I’m Yours! I get it. My identity is wrapped up in what or Who I believe I belong to. And because you’re my Creator and Savior, you had me in mind before I even became a writer or student or wife. I’m kinda like a special edition, a one of a kind, featured item huh…"

"Wow, that’s great material JC" I said

"You should write about it", He replies.

A Day on the Lake

So it’s the next day and my Rock Star girlfriend Susan text me- “Let’s go on the boat and watch the air show.”

Mia, Me, Susan

Whew Hoo, I’m already traveling!!

Sitting in Lake Michigan on this fantastical yacht stocked with food, fun and Capt’n Ant at the wheel- I cannot be more pleased. (Forget about the fact that you couldn’t catch me dead in that contaminated body of water.) I’m having a Blast!!

The air is cool and the sun is warm, as far as I’m concerned, I’m two waves away from the Italian coast.  And the timing couldn’t be better because again… I was up at 4am…duking it out with my issues and working it out with my God.

I bring an “impressive” bottle of Champagne only to have it completely overshadowed by the schmorgisborg Sue and Mia supply: 6 meats, several cheeses, olives, moscato, 8 fruits, 3 breads, and a million beverages (there literally was no space for mine…lol). Dips, chips, chocolates, dessert.. it was almost gluttoness except for the fact that Sue brought her wonderful and hilarious family, while Mia followed behind her adorable 8 year old son-Chase (the name is appropriate).

I did note eating on real plates (not plastic), while tanning and coasting waves makes cheese taste A WHOLE LOT BETTER… who knew?

First we grabbed gas behind Horseshoe then we raced Capt’n Anthony’s friends to Navy Pier.

**Another observation- we were the only two boats out with African American occupants..huh.. but more importantly, everyone was so nice out on the water. As a matter of fact, it is customary to wave at every passing ship, small or large, no exception.  Apparently, it’s not just me, the water makes everyone happier.**

Chase at the wheel

7 hours later we were stuffed on carbs and two shades darker. Papa Manuel (Susans’ father) and little Chase steered us home and we wobbled to our cars …smiling… and really, really relaxed.  Here’s where I talked myself home: “Ok Amanda, drive the speed limit, pick up the cleaners, smile at the doorman, lock your door, take a shower, pass out.”  I must say, it was a good plan, and I followed it perfectly. I was clean, my muscles felt like jello so passing out was effortless.  Blissfully I slipped into a coma and dreamed wonderful, euphoric dreams…about lollipops…sun tan lotion… and sailing.